Dear Daughter: Thoughts on Becoming A Woman
I remember being in middle school and talking with my friends about what it would be like to go to high school. We talked about giving ourselves new nick names, dressing differently, and growing our hair out. We prayed for boyfriends and bigger breasts. We wanted a great distinction between our middle school selves and our new high school selves. In high school we thought about college. In college we thought about our future independent career and family driven selves. The transition from shopping at 579 to Learner New York was epic. We were growing up and we desperately wanted the world to know we were not little girls anymore. We were women.
I believe many girls feel this way. Crossing from being a girl to womanhood is a special and sacred honor every woman wants to experience and live. We all desire to be different from our past selves. We want to grow and mature and we want the world to know. It is completely right to feel this way. We should be growing, we should be maturing, the world should notice a difference.
This is especially true for the Christian woman. But our transformation into womanhood should not look like the worlds. It should look more and more like Christ.
I understand that many times this actually contradicts with the world’s view of what it means to be a woman. We constantly see and hear that being a woman is about doing whatever you want, dressing more “mature” by showing more skin, and gaining the attention of men.
The Christian woman who does not do what she wants, but what her God wants; the one who dresses modestly to respect the body her Lord created, and who is more concerned with the thoughts of God about her than that of man; at times completely contradicts what the world says about what it means to be a woman.
But we are not defined by the world ladies. We are defined by our creator, the one who came up with the idea of male and female, man and woman. As you grow up, and you will, I encourage you, I ask you, I pled with you to grow into the woman God wants you to be, not who the world says you should be.
I hope you know that the core, the heart of what it is to be a woman is more about what we don’t see than what we do. See we all get breasts, our periods, even hair on our legs. We are all either girls becoming women or we are women. Yet, that does not seem to be enough. Deep down we know womanhood is more than the way our bodies naturally function, it’s more than putting on lipstick and wearing pantyhose. It’s mental and most certainly spiritual.
Womanhood is about honor, integrity, and respect. It’s about making decisions that honor our God, even when no one is looking. It’s about respecting who God made us, both on the inside and out. It’s about making hard and sacrificial decisions to do this. The decisions that mature us to be more like Christ and less like the world. The world does not need more provocatively dressed women, women focused on the attention of man for their own satisfaction, or women who are solely consumed with themselves. The world, even if it does not know it, needs women who are more like Christ. Women who will lay down their lives to allow the light of Christ radiate through them in a dark world that desperately needs that light.
I don’t want you to stay a little girl. I want you to grow and flourish and mature into the woman God made you to be. I want you to be an example to the world about what it means to be a woman. I want you to do this because when we do, you invite all women to do the same.
© 2013 Christina Patterson
Christina Patterson is a wife, mom, and founder of Beloved Women. She obtained her Masters in Theological Studies from Liberty University. With a deep passion for women’s ministry, she has a desire to see women fulfilled and free through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Learn more at www.belovedwomen.org