He Is Just That Into You

Katrina Hunter Set Free (Hannah’s Corner)rachel and leah

I truly had a Leah mentality.

Leah, in the Bible, was the sister of Rachel. According to Genesis 29:17, “Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel was lovely in form, and beautiful.” There are a few interpretations as to what weak eyes were supposed to mean with regards to Leah, but nevertheless – it doesn’t appear to be a compliment when compared to Rachel’s description.

Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever been compared to someone, and perhaps the comparison was not in your favor?

If so, you could probably relate to Leah.

Jacob was so in love with Rachel that he told her father, Laban, that he would work seven years for him in return for Rachel’s hand in marriage. When they passed, he consummated his relationship with Laban’s daughter – but to Jacob’s surprise, it was not Rachel! He had been deceived and had in fact, married Leah-the one with weak eyes.

Eventually, Jacob would marry Rachel but can you imagine how hard that must have been for Leah? Knowing that she was not the one Jacob really wanted, but yet she is married to this man? Could Leah ever do anything to gain his love? Well, she certainly tried.

“When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now” (Genesis 29:31).

Leah kept conceiving children and interestingly enough, she had similar responses after the birth of her children:

  • “Because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.”
  • “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have born him three sons.”
  • “God has presented me with a precious gift. This time my husband will treat me with honor because I have borne him six sons.”

How many times have you ever felt like that? Trying to justify someone’s love for you by what you give them? There you are, counting all of what you did for them, yet still not gaining their love?

Maybe you felt like Leah and you have said:

“This time they’ll love me…This time they’ll become attached to me…

This time they’ll honor me…”

In previous relationships (most of them not God-honoring), I thought that what I brought to the table would be enough to keep them loving/liking me or showing interest in me and it never was. I tried so hard to overcompensate for what I didn’t bring to the table that I offered everything (and I do mean everything) to make up for what I thought I lacked. I felt that I wasn’t valuable or interesting. People came into my life and went and I thought it was because I wasn’t good enough.

But even when others are not that into you – GOD IS. He also knows how to send those Godly, special surprises when we aren’t trying to force them.

When I was going through another this “What’s wrong with me?” phase, people that I admired soooo much and that I thought were so special in their own right, began to come to me just wanting to hang out and be around me.  In fact, I at one point, I actually nicknamed one of them my “Beautiful Surprise.” On the outside when people would approach me about hanging out or needing help, I was like, “Oh, sure! Anytime!” But on the inside, I was a nervous wreck going, “Oh, God. Why me? These people are so special and wonderful. Of all people, they ask ME?! Why does this person want to be around me and what do they see?” On and on I went. Finally, the Lord, in His own special way to me said:

“They see plenty in you and I don’t make no junk.”

At the right time when we aren’t trying to be Leah’s and force our beauty/worth on someone, we can be found.

We can be found so special by the people we least expect when we least expect it.

Beloved, never doubt how much GOD IS INTO YOU. He works through people and He will send the right people at the right time.

God IS JUST THAT INTO YOU.  No more being a Leah. No more, “This time he’ll love me.”

Because guess what?

HE ALREADY DOES AND ALWAYS HAS!

Christmas Time Trial – TODAY

Years after the tragic loss of our infant baby boy…God continues to bless our family (husband and first born son in image below).

Merry Christmas,

Starlet and Family

4ChristmasStarlet2014

In The Wait of God

terryonepilepsy“I’m sorry Mr. and Mrs. Bynum but your son has epilepsy.”

I knew something strange was going on with my son. He would have these moments of “spacing out” and unresponsiveness and when he came out of it he wouldn’t remember anything. Initially no one noticed but me because I spent the most time with him. I asked my husband about it and at first he hadn’t noticed and then one day he observed this strange behavior himself. We shared our concerns with a few family members and some of the responses were unbelievable, “he’s just being a boy,” “he’s ignoring you,” “boys just don’t listen,” “you’re overreacting,” etc. No matter what they said there was a nagging in my soul that wouldn’t rest, I knew something was wrong and I began to pray. My husband and I both began to watch and pray…and wait.

Can I be honest with you? I am not a patient person. I hate waiting. Unfortunately, the world we live in today completely caters to my inability to wait. Inevitably, there are times in life that waiting is the only option available. Like it or not.

The situation (my family and) I encountered with my sons’ epileptic diagnosis forced me to learn firsthand what it means to be “in the wait of God” and it has given me a different perspective on the subject.

First, let me point out the fact that God is a timeless God. He does not operate within the restraints of time. He is not restricted by time. He is the creator of time and therefore He is not subject to it. Unlike His creation, we are bound by its laws and obligated to function within its realms.

Now, let’s define the word wait. Wait has a several definitions. We will discuss three.

WAIT:  1. to remain inactive or in a state of repose, until something expected happens

2. to be available or in readiness

3. to remain neglected for a time

Definition number three jumped out to me because when we are waiting on God to respond to our urgent need, we feel neglected until He moves. As long as He is silent we feel forgotten about which is amazing because He is omniscient or all knowing. How is it possible for an all knowing Father to abandon His child? It isn’t possible. We know this but yet we struggle with it each time we’re met with a situation that we deem worthy of God’s immediate attention. However, while we’re in the wait of God we fail to realize what is taking place  spiritually. Hope, trust, and faith are simultaneously being strengthened or weakened. Often times the outcome of the situation is the determining factor.

Definition number two gave me pause. When we are unexpectedly thrown into a chaotic situation would we describes ourselves as available or ready while we’re in the wait of God? I don’t know about you, but for me the answer to that question is absolutely not! I’ve not made myself available to God for crying out loud I need God to be available for me. Is that how you feel? I’m neither available nor ready for anything but a quick miraculous solution to my problem.

Finally definition number three is probably the most out of character for me sad to say. I don’t remain still until something expected happens. I beg, I plead, and sometimes even bargain with God in a desperate attempt to spare me from whatever awful situation is looming over me.

I realized that I needed to reevaluate this “in the wait of God” concept.

While we were praying, watching, and waiting our son’s “episodes” were getting worse. Lasting longer and growing more violent. He would have these occurrences without any warning. We called his pediatrician and she got him in immediately and sent him to a pediatric neurologist. Well if you know anything about specialist, it usually takes a while to get an appointment, however our pediatrician voiced the urgency of the situation and God opened a door that allowed us to get in within a week.

We checked in to Children’s Hospital on the day of his testing. (The pediatric neurologist wanted to run tests before she would see him.) It was an all-day process. The nurse initially told us that it would take about a week or two for the results to come and they would call us with more information and set up an appointment at that time if it was necessary. When the tests were complete, the nurse pulled me to the side and said, we’ll be calling you tomorrow morning because the doctor will want to see him tomorrow afternoon.

My heart skipped a few beats and I took a deep breath.

One of the longest 24 hour periods (my family and) I have had to endure. Praying. Watching. Waiting. Needless to say, sleep escaped me (and my family) that night. The following afternoon we entered the patient’s room at the pediatric neurologist’s office and waited for the news from the doctor.

“I’m sorry Mr. and Mrs. Bynum but your son tested positive for epilepsy.” “However,” she continued, “if I had to have epilepsy, this would be the one I’d choose.” You see, he’ll grow out of this around the time he’s a teenager. He shouldn’t have issues with obtaining a license either. This type of epilepsy is easily controlled by medication. We already know most of his triggers so you’ll know what to avoid. I want to see him every few months unless something changes or he has a seizure. We’ll teach you how to respond if he has a Grand seizure and write out an action plan for the school, babysitters, etc.

It’s been a while since that day at the hospital. It’s been a learning process. It’s been hard at times (especially when he had a Grand seizure because of a high fever), however, even in sickness, God gave us favor…but we had to wait.