Do It Scared Pt 1

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Starlet Ware on Encouragement and Prayer

And regarding the question friends, that has come up about what happens to those already dead and buried, we don’t want you in the dark any longer.  First off, you must not carry on over them like people who have nothing to look forward to, as if the grave were the last word.  Since Jesus died and broke loose from the grave, God will most certainly bring back to life those who died in Jesus.  I Thessalonians 4:13-14 (MSG)

Wonderful verse to cling to when love ones step over into the presence of God and see Jesus face to face.  It has been stated my response is sometimes quite different than others in the faith.  The focus of funerals seems to have changed from sadness to home going celebrations.  It is now; “Let’s celebrate my loved one is at home!”  Yes, we will miss them but we will be there soon enough so we will keep living until we die (as opposed to being alive but walking around as though we’re dead)!

Do you find yourself in the “I can’t go on because my loved one isn’t here” or “I will live till I’m called home?”  Let me hear from you.  My brother says I am his emotional sister so there is a heart in my chest cavity.  Both categories have held my attention.  Tears have rolled for near strangers when their relationship with Jesus wasn’t clear.  I know only God knows their heart and knows if they repented just before that last breath.

Years ago, a friend’s brother was on his death bed.  She kept me informed of his progress.  One night, she called really late.  She was crying and could hardly speak because her brother had taken a turn for the worse.  I asked if I could come see him because she wasn’t sure if he knew Christ.  She said yes but warned me he wasn’t able to speak.  Praying occurred letting God know I was going even though afraid since evangelizing skills were lacking.  This young soldier prepared a list of verses from the Roman road, verses that tell of God’s love, repenting and then accepting Jesus prayer.

Armed but quaking inside, I walked in the house.  It was quiet.  She introduced her family and then led me to her brother’s room.  His room was dark and quiet.  Memory fails if she left the room or not because prayer was on the mind.  I introduced myself to him, asked if he wanted to see Jesus when he breathed his last breathe and instructed him to roll his eyes back and forth for ‘yes’ and no movement for ‘no.’  Not sure he could hear me, I kept talking, asking questions, reading scripture and praying.  I was so nervous.

Thank you God, his eyes shifted when I asked if he accepted Jesus in his heart.  Hallelujah!  I squeezed his hand, prayed out loud and I left.  In the car, emotions came flooding through, excited, unsure and thankful I had obeyed God to go in the first place.  He will be in Heaven.

Tune in next week for the rest of the story.  Father God, thank you for allowing me to be in your plans.  What a blessing you are.  You are awesome, worthy, confident and sure.  Bless each reader and let them do what you ask of them whether they are confident in it or afraid.  In Jesus name.  Amen.

For the “if” in Life

I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, until he please.

Song of Solomon 8:4

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Situation #1

I know a couple who dated quite a few years. She was a virgin when they married. They have been married several years but now she wonders “what if” I would have dated more than one person. What if I would have traveled like I wanted? What if I would have followed my past dreams ? Would I have married him? I am bored, depressed, sick and tired of arguing about being bored.

Situation #2

I told you all about my virginity being stripped away from me. I have ‘wondered’ if I would have waited till marriage to have sex. I’d like to think I would because sex was really the furthest thing from my mind all the way through high school. (OK, except the thought that went through my mind when I had my first French kiss. In my mind I asked, “If I have this much energy from a kiss, what kind of energy would sex give me?”)

You likely know of several other examples from family, friends, or your own story. Here is what I want to get across. God commanded that we not fornicate (sex without marriage/as singles) or commit adultery (sex outside of marriage). Since he said it, it is for our own good. He isn’t trying to stifle our ‘fun.’ He does want to save us the heartache that comes with premarital or extra-marital relations.

Let’s start this New Year out with pure hearts, minds, actions and goals. Some of mine are to be more like Christ and to do what he has called me to do in word and deed. I will be quicker to obey Him and follow after Him harder. What about you? Don’t fool me now. Write out your goals and dreams and make sure they are what He desires for you and go hard after them.

Till we meet again,

Starlet

 

Christmas Time Trial (continued final)

warefamily in2008As I mentioned at the end of last week’s article, George and I argued about how the other was ‘handling’ the stress of our baby’s diagnosis. It was a very stressful time in our marriage. I may not recall exactly what we did for Christmas that year but with Brandon in the home for Christmas, my regular way to celebrate with him was to have him read Luke 2, Jesus announcement of birth and the Shepherds arriving.

After reading the verses, he would open one gift on Christmas Eve and the rest Christmas day. I remember trying to keep peace around him so as not to stress him out.

George and I grieved and processed separately. I remember being on my own to pray, cry, process. A friend of mine was very near death during December and when I got word he was in his last few moments, I remember asking if I could come over and see him. I wasn’t allowed to because his family didn’t want anyone to see him looking so bad. I was devastated because my thought was to go over and send a message through him to God asking him to save Miles. I cried good and long for not being able to get that message to this man’s ear to take with him to Heaven. I knew I was praying and lots of others were praying but I still wanted to get the message to God through one of his mighty warriors. My friend died in December 2007 and my Miles was born in January 2008.

My scheduled date came, January 23, 2008. I was induced. We waited and waited. I don’t dilate much so we had to do a C-section. We had a room full of people waiting anxiously. My sister and Mom were among them. Friends brought my Brandon from school to the hospital.

Miles Ethan Ware made his debut at 9:41 AM. He lived a little less than two hours. He was loved by many in his life, my prayer is he drew many to Jesus his loving Savior!

God bless you this Christmas May you seek goodness in all your days!
 
Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you.
Starlet

Christmas Time Trial (continued)

Last week, I talked about our high risk pregnancy where we were asked if we wanted to carry our baby  to term or have an abortion. We, of course, chose to carry to term because this little life had a chance so long as God was on his throne and we prayed and had others praying in agreement with us.

babyangelAfter the doctor’s appointment was over, I went back to work and sent an update email letting everyone know how to pray specifically for us and our baby. The response was so encouraging and amazing. People forwarded my emails on to their praying friends and family and sent up prayers on our behalf. I was so thankful we were covered with prayers because my George was having a really, tough time dealing because he blamed himself for the diagnosis.

He felt like his choices were the cause of our baby’s health issues. Isn’t that what we do? We do have consequences for our sins but I don’t believe we are powerful enough to cause sickness in an unborn.

Ezekiel 18:20

The person who sins is the one who will die. A son won’t suffer punishment for the father’s iniquity, and a father won’t suffer punishment for the son’s iniquity. The righteousness of the righteous person will be on him, and the wickedness of the wicked person will be on him.

As our pregnancy continued, we had many debates, arguments because George thought I wasn’t ‘sad’ enough and he felt since I already had a child, I wasn’t really concerned. I would explain over and over that I had put Miles into God’s hands and whatever the outcome was, it would be OK with me. I did pray a lot during this time that God would allow a miracle so the doctor who didn’t know him would witness the miracle and accept Jesus.

Hang in there with me, I will tell the rest of the story next week.

God’s ways are higher than our ways and He is in heaven doing what He wants to do,
Starlet

Christmas Time Trial

I have had wonderful Christmas seasons and some not so wonderful. I recall a time 6 years ago, I was around 8 month’s pregnant (due in January 2008) with my husband’s first baby. We were informed at our 20 week ultrasound that our baby was a boy. However, the ultrasound holdingbaby1technician hurried out of the room and when she came back, we were told we had an appointment set for that afternoon at a High Risk Pregnancy Doctor’s office. We asked why and we were told the doctor would inform us once there and he had a chance to look at the ultrasound.

I went back to work, sent out a mass email for prayers and then George and I went to our 1 PM appointment. Dr. T (not his real name) looked over my records and me and informed us our child had a lethal diagnosis: Trisomy 18. He also had Diaphragmatic Hernia, which would require surgery at birth if he lived. What a shock to our ‘happy 20th week appointment to discover the gender of our baby.’ As we absorbed all this information, the doctor discussed our options. We could continue the pregnancy or have an abortion.

What? Abort? My brain may have been fuzzy thinking over all the things they had told us but I was definitely certain abortion would NEVER be the answer. Our answer was absolutely and emphatically NO to aborting. We chose to let him have all the days of life God chose to give him even if it was only through the pregnancy.

Next week, I will continue our journey through our high risk pregnancy. “Even in the midst of bad news, there are always reasons to be grateful.” Colossians 3:15 And let the peace of the Messiah, to which you were also called in one body, control your hearts.

Be grateful,
Starlet

Thankful God Loves Me Enough to Trust Me

Today, as I received my voting ballot, the man said “you are so joyful.” I thanked him. The lady next to him complimented my outfit. She said “your colors go together so well. You look so nice.” I thanked her. After voting, I handed my ballot to the same lady. I said goodbye to both of them and as I walked away, they were both smiling and he said, “not too many are so …” I didn’t catch the rest but I choose to believe it was another positive compliment.

Now, sitting here working, my lovely friend sends me a text saying “I know you will like this.” (see picture) I not only like it. I LOVE it! Thank you God for shining through me!starletwarepicfornov2014article

Matthew 5:16 “In the same way, let your light shine before men, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.”

I sent “God’s got us ladies even when I’m flailing all about. :~)” to a couple sisters this morning. I absolutely love God and thank him ever so much for KNOWING, LOVING, CARING, PAYING ATTENTION TO ME and allowing me to be a participant in his plans to help encourage ‘my neighbors.’ He is giving me the desire of my heart. I have prayed “Lord, please let me be sweet.” I never thought it possible because I have such a deep voice, but God!

Since he wasn’t afraid to use ordinary, tossed aside, outcast people in the Bible, I won’t be afraid to let him use me in this current day where ever He chooses. Are you willing to allow him to live and shine through you?

“Some days are better than expected and other days are worse than expected, but God is consistent and loving through them all.”
Starlet

 

Thankful For “Iron Sharpening Iron” Women

I am thankful for the best group of ladies surrounding me with encouragement, wise counsel, who also pray with and for me. They are from different walks of life, churches, jobs and businesses. God, thankfully, knows what he is doing.

asironsharpensironI mention my ladies because they have sharpened me, advised me, watched me grow, fall, cry, laugh, build my business, proofread for me, traveled with me and love me BIG. Do you have a support system in place to love you to health, wealth and growth? If not, I pray God fills your cup to overflowing with those you can be blessed by and be a blessing to as you walk the rest of your days on this earth. My ladies came to mind today as I write because of a situation that arose overnight. I prayed for all involved. I called ‘Z’ (not her real name) to ask if what I was thinking made sense. She said she had been there done that so her experience allowed her to advise me wisely. She said, go ahead and walk out what you’re feeling, but if I had time to meet with her in person, she was willing to do so because I need to care for me before I could ‘not care’ for others’ actions. She recognized (and mentioned) my emotions were high. We set a time to meet. It is wonderful to have someone’s full attention. See you soon ‘Z.’

Sunday, my ladies made me feel welcome at the ladies’ meeting. I had the pleasure of enjoying their questions of where have I been, even though I taught class two Sundays ago. We have lots of fun and their faces are a blessing to me.

Go out and hug your lady friends and or family who inspire you.

Till we meet again, God be with you!
Starlet Ware

 

Thankful

starletwarequote4I am thankful for my mother who loves me so much. When I walk into Sorenson Golden Living, her eyes light up. She does this little dance that I join in. I hug and kiss her. Yesterday, I sat at the dinner table with her and let her talk while I ate up all the saltine crackers left there by other residents. She told me to go ahead and eat them because they would be tossed if left. I did.

We moved our conversation from the dining area to her room. She asked “is Brandon still living with that lady’s son?” I said no, he is with 3 other guys. She said “Brandon needs to come back home or if he is going to be away from home, he should live by himself.” I love this woman’s mind. She is so right. Needless to say, I called my Brandon and told him what his grandmother said. So thankful she is still here to contribute to my life and his. He agrees with her thoughts of living on his own.

To all those who no longer have your mom or dad here to love on, please know this wasn’t written to make to you sad. I wanted to share how we can be thankful for the things our parents instilled in us, taught us or would have taught us if they were in a better place.

God is the ultimate father and he knows our every need. Let him love you like no one else can.

Till we meet again, God bless.
Starlet

 

Two Times, Same Message

Proud to announce the new columnist at Leading Young Women to Hope! She is the IPD (Intercessory Prayer Director) of  the LYWH Ministry!

Introducing to some and presenting to others, Starlet Ware:

LYWH Starlet1I, Starlet Ware, declare over myself that I am emotionally well!  Most days I look totally together. I move through life praying for people, speaking kindly, and helping whomever I come in contact with. I can even counsel wisely. I love those days and interactions because I feel loved, needed, and used by God.

However, the days/moments I lash out and have temper tantrums are not productive, but at that moment, I don’t care. I want to scream at the top of my lungs, rant, wave my hands and lash out at whomever I believe has hurt me (usually my husband). Today, as I write this is one of those moments.

What was my journey to emotional wellness? Well, let me tell a little of my story.

I graduated from high school at 18 years of age, 1984. I went to work at a fast food restaurant owned by a family member. I happily worked, enjoyed my co-workers, and most customers. My mother came to have coffee daily. She’d sit and talk to us as we worked.

One day, my mother told me to “watch out for that man.” I didn’t know why but she emphasized it. I went on working. Time past and then the owner of the restaurant approached me and said “watch out for ‘J,’ he likes you.” Two times, same message. I couldn’t miss his over 6’ frame but I didn’t know what I was watching for.

Two occasions made me know why I was to ‘watch for him:’

  • Business was slow so we were told to clean, restock, and get ready for our next wave of customers. I ran downstairs to get supplies and as I ascended the stairs, ‘J’ descended. His large frame blocked the small stairwell. He embraced me and kissed me! I was stunned but continued upstairs and put the supplies away.
  • Days came and went. Another cleaning, restocking, and readying the place, I ran downstairs for supplies. I heard someone else descend while I was in the storage room. Arms loaded, I go to the door and find it locked. I call for help but realize ‘J’ is the one responsible. He came to the door, taunting me. I was irritated, frustrated, and wanted him to quit playing. He finally unlocked the door and as I went to go around him, he pulled me close with one arm and slid his other hand… well, you get the picture.

With two warnings and two different work incidents, my virginity was stripped away.

I wish I could say I reported him, told my mom or cousin. I did neither. I felt dirty. I went on having sex with him for about a year till I came to myself. I remember the breakthrough, freedom of no longer sinning against my body. Thank God for mind renewal.

Until age 38, I had only told one person in addition to the co-worker, about my experience. I will tell some more of my journey next week. Thank you so much for reading. I pray this has been an encouragement to you and may you be able to tell your story and get your emotional wellness every day. God bless you!