Forgiving the Unforgiveable

SONY DSCMy childhood was so painful that I can’t remember most of it. God, in His mercy, allowed only a handful of memories to surface during the many years of my healing process. One memory I had to deal with was about my mother. The hardest part about allowing this memory to surface was that I had to re-live the pain just one more time. I had to feel abandoned again. I had to cry again. However, my desire for healing was stronger than my fear of the pain. I asked Jesus to come with me, and I let the memory surface. I felt again the devastation Mom caused in me by abandoning me to Dad’s perversion. She knew what he was doing. She saw him hurting me, and she just walked away.

Why did God have me deal with this memory so many years after Mom passed away? I couldn’t call her up to tell her I forgave her. I couldn’t ask for her forgiveness for all the anger I had against her.  I had the answer the minute I chose to forgive her. It wasn’t about my mom. It was about me. Forgiving my mom set me free!

So how can we even think of going back to that place of pain? How can we forgive the unforgivable? Maybe we believe we hurt more than anyone else on earth. I know I did. Or we believe that holding onto a grudge really hurts our those who hurt us and our unforgiveness can somehow make them pay for our pain. It doesn’t work that way, my friend. The truth is we only hurt ourselves when we hold a grudge.

Forgiving others is our choice, it’s not about how we feel.  Does choosing to forgive sound too simple? It is. It’s just not easy. It’s one of the hardest things we’ll ever have to do! Jesus is the only One who can help us face our pain. He not only helps us be willing to want to forgive, He walks with us every step of the way. It’s so worth the struggle because He heals our wounds forever. I can visit my memory of abandonment without any pain, even after all of these years.

God’s Word says “by His stripes we were healed.” His healing is perfect. It is final. It is complete. God will heal you if you will let Him. Or you can hang on to your pain. The choice is yours.

“Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.” John 8:36

Who Are You Following?

whoareyoufollowing2The Cross before me, still I will follow. The Cross before, still I will follow. No turning back. No turning back.

I had a really stressful day today! I wanted to turn and run but I stood firm, fought the tears back, stiffened shoulders and all. I made it through my day, work finished. I walked out the building headed to the bus stop, looked for my bus pass, had to turn back around, go back in my building. Thank God I had dropped the bus pass in my office. That does it! I got home and I had powdered donuts and milk for dinner and cereal for dessert! Please don’t tell my husband. LOL

Tomorrow, I will go back to work with more vigor in my step and determination in my heart because Jesus is before, behind and on the sides of me. Who are you choosing to follow today?

John 14:6 says “Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. No goes to the Father except through me.”

John 15:15 says “I am the vine. You are the branches. Those who live in me while I live in them will produce a lot of fruit. But you can’t produce anything without me.”

I want nothing if Jesus isn’t up in and all through it! Be blessed young people. Choose Christ and shower those around you with his love.

Starlet

 

Infallible

/inˈfaləb(ə)l/adjectiveinfalliable1

not capable of making mistakes or being wrong

never failing; absolutely trustworthy

certain to succeed

unable to disappoint

 

Dear Make-Up Industry,

I fell in love with your products! Your marketing strategy is pure genius. The way you use imitations of perfection to promote your products is almost infallible itself. It is incredible how you hire professional make-up artists to glamorize celebrities and then pass those products off as top of the (drugstore) line quality. As if that’s not enough, you then photo-shop the images to add yet another layer/dimension of flawless perfection.

Just one problem – it’s not true. You see, I have a daughter, nieces, and a ton of other family, friends, etc. who are girls and women. Some of them are so broken by life circumstances that it has left them with little or no value of themselves. They look to any and everything to “fix” themselves and your product offers a hope that it can’t fulfill.

Your products are incapable of being infallible. They will never look like what is portrayed as the unblemished models and celebrities used to promote your products. You profit from their pain, the pain of not feeling like your pretty enough, the pain of always needing someone’s approval, the pain of perfection that cannot be obtained through lipstick, foundation, or eye shadow.

We are full of flaws, we are imperfectly perfect. Covering our imperfections and blemishes further enables the pressure to be flawless at any cost – which is a set-up for failure because perfection, among humans, does not exist.

Imitations of hope produce hopeless insecurity. Girls think infallible will come through with its promise of certainty. Disappointment sets in and lack of confidence follows. The cycle repeats itself because a mother can’t teach her daughter what she does not know herself – she is made beautiful therefore she is beautiful. Period. Unfortunately, you can’t make money off that truth, therefore deception is conveyed. Tearing down her value and worth with false guarantees that your products will bring her the beauty she has desperately desired in magazines, television, and online. You see dollars signs, I see tears, depression, hopelessness, low/no self-esteem, and sometimes lost lives because it was all too much to handle. Constantly being hung up on the appearance of perfection is mentally exhausting and spiritually draining, it’s an unattainable goal.

If you aren’t on board with instilling values and morals in our girls, how is it expected of them to grow up to be women of noble character, passing integrity down to the following generations whether they’re wearing make-up or not?

No, you are certainly not the only company that operates this way, there are many. My question to you is will you take the lead in making a change?

Confidently,

Takiela

Faith for the Falling

faithforthefalling1I was angry at God for years, starting at age nine, because He didn’t stop my dad from verbally and sexually abusing me.  I didn’t tell anyone what dad did to me because he told me not to tell.  I believed with all of my little girl heart that He COULD have stopped dad but He just WOULDN’T stop him. Since He didn’t, I decided to take care of myself. I was all alone and on my own.

I still went to church, read my Bible daily, and stayed out of trouble as much as I could. I wanted to follow Jesus. To be “a good girl” meant stuffing all of the pain deep down inside so I couldn’t feel it any more. It went so deep that I finally convinced myself the bad stuff never even happened. The truth is that all of the pain and misery still boiled inside of me. My pain came out in wrong behavior. I didn’t get addicted to drugs or alcohol, but I got addicted to my own adrenaline. I believed the lie that a man broke me so a man had to fix me. Men became my god, and I pressured them into stopping my pain. They never lived up to my expectations. When I found out that dad had molested my two daughters and my daycare girls, I could no longer deny that something was dreadfully wrong in my life. I didn’t seek help for myself, but I swallowed my pride and looked for help for my girls. What a surprise! Getting help for my girls started my own healing journey!

I believed one of the biggest lies the enemy Satan tells us is that we are alone in our suffering and misery. He tells us that no one will ever care, especially God. The enemy is correct in one respect. We stay alone in our suffering and misery as long as we believe his lie. Satan doesn’t want us to reach out to God. If we take one tiny little miniscule step in faith toward God, if we can believe there is the slightest hope that God has the answer for our pain, the enemy knows his game is over. God already gave us the answer for all of the hurt, for all of the pain. He gave us His one and only Son Jesus Christ, who is willing and able to exchange our pain for His perfect peace.

“For God so loved the world (that means you, dear reader) that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

May you be faithful to God…even if you fall,

Valerie

M.A.D. – The “My Adam” Deceit

hisherweddingsetSingle women – “I’m waiting on my Adam.

Engaged/Newly Married Women – “I’ve found my Adam.

This is the phrase I see trending on websites, blogs, social media and among ministries. I must admit that initially my thoughts were…”awe, that’s cute” and the moment the thought entered my mind the Lord lovingly nudged my heart. Later that night, I sought God and searched the scriptures (and vice versa), repeating this cycle for several days. Let me tell you young ladies the truth hurts sometimes, but nevertheless, not my will but His will be done.

May His will free you, in all things, Takiela.

Daughters of God, I love you. As your Father, the King, my plans for you are to give you hope and to prosper you. Even you, being born in sin and shaped in inequity give good gifts to your children, will I not do the same? Listen to Me sweetheart, do not adopt any principle that is not based on My Word, which is rooted and founded in Me. Do not lie to yourself by trusting what is worthless because you will get nothing in return (Job 15:31 NIV), whoever invests in lies will get lies plus interest due before the due date (Job 15:31and31 MSG). There is only one father of lies. I have come to set the captives free, I am the way, the truth, and the light. You must go through My Son to get to Me.

Do you know the story of Adam and the consequences of his decision? He listened to his wife and disobeyed Me (Genesis 3:17-19). Why would you refer to the husband you say I have blessed you with, as your “Adam” and if he is your “Adam” that makes you his…? Do you really want your husband to refer to you as his “Eve” the woman who caused sin to enter the world (Genesis 3:16)?

Daughters of the King, you should reflect no one outside of Me. Likewise, My sons should reflect no one outside of Me. I created mankind in My own image, in the image of Me, I created them, both the men and the women (Genesis 1:27). How can imperfection strive for imperfection, only I am He who is perfect, strive only for Me. I love you and have loved you with a limitless love that outlasts time. Return to your place of royalty in Me.